2020, Covid19, & Me.......
Before you read this, there may be language in this post you find offensive. My imagination and use of literary devices may strike nerves or draw out a chuckle or two. You may decide that I'm simply insane, but these are my thoughts and experience. I speak for myself. So, I beseech you to jettison your judgements, exclude any expectations, park your pride, and suppress any sensitivities.
2020 - New Year
2020 - Clear Vision
2020 - Pandemic
2020 - Light Shed on Our Country's Brokenness
2020 - The Systemic Racist
2020 - The Murderous Racists
2020 - Black Lives Matter
2020 - Culmination of a Four-Year Plot to Divide & Dismantle Democracy
2020 - We See Our Failures and Sickness. It's up to us, the People to do better, be better, and Heal Our Land. As it is written, turning from and renouncing our wicked ways, is the first step.
On October 27th, Covid came in with 17 other flus. Like Flex, Covid said, "Bryan, I like ya, and I won't ya! We can do this the easy way or the hard way!" I said, "Hell Naw! I don't get down like that!" Then, they jumped me and pinned me to the bed. All I could do was let it happen, as they took turns raping my immune system and doing unspeakable things to my body. I felt so violated and disrespected. Thinking that Monday, November 2nd, they'd be done with me, I got out of bed. Overcome, by chills, hot flashes, and head to toe sweat, I felt someone behind me. It was flu #19, as big as Michael Clark Duncan and sounding like him also. He said, "Back in that bed bawss! I ain't had my turn yet!" I crawled back into bed, into the fetal position to be exact. He made me feel like there'd be no recovering from this madness.
I hope that gives a decent enough idea of what it was like for me, having Covid 19. I never ran a fever, but completely lost the senses of taste and smell. Other symptoms experienced are as follows:
- Body Aches
- Head Aches
- Hot Flashes
- Nasal & Chest Congestion
- Higher Blood Sugars (T1D Related)
- Loss of Appetite
- Low Magnesium (First time in my life being told I had low magnesium.)
- Total Scrotal Implosion.......GOTCHA! LOL! (The Boondocks: Season 3, Episode 12, "Mr. Medicinal")
Last Wednesday, the word "oppression" came to mind, as I thought about what Covid19 has done to me. Oppressed were my immune system and breathing. With everything that has happened in this year, 2020, I'd like to use Covid19 as a simile to systemic racism and it's oppression of minorities. I cannot take a deep breath without going into a coughing fit that leads to a sore back and chest. It's the same as what I feel with being pulled over by a cop. Better yet, it's my inability to rest, sleep, and be free of worrying when my son is out of the house. Knowing where to cut my inhale, is like knowing how far I can go in a debate with a white person before he/she feels "threatened". This nagging cough, which produces nothing is like the noise made in courtrooms, pleading for justice, only to have murderers set free. Covid19 attacks the immune system when it is thriving, like what was done in Tulsa, Oklahoma (1921) and in Atlanta, GA (1906). The oppressed are the hundreds of thousands who have died from Covid19, while those who are not get the "Presidential Treatment." Unlike Covid19, we cannot simply allow systemic racism to "run its course."
I feel that our lives are our testimonies, and our testimonies are our ministries. Their effect on those around you depends on how you choose to live. This year has been a strain on every aspect of my being. In transparency, I found myself sinking into my emotions and feelings way more than I ever have in any point in my life, prior to 2020. I gave my mind over to the negativity spewing from so many areas of our society, government, and communities. Sour, I felt, through and through. I must do better. Acting out in anger is something we are guaranteed to regret, afterwards.
At the beginning of the year, we heard varying stories and facts concerning Covid19. Yes, I was fearful, due to my having Type 1 Diabetes. Yet, I didn't see it as being much more than the flu on steroids. Given my experience described earlier, yeah, the flu accompanied by 18 buff, bass-voiced, flu homies. I shaved and cut my hair yesterday, so I no longer have that "rode hard and put up wet" look about me. I feel way better now, than I have in the past three weeks. All glory and praise to Yahweh!!
We are nearing the end of this beast of a year. 2020 has dealt us many blows, but WE ARE STILL STANDING!! WE ARE STILL IN THIS FIGHT!! I am a believer in Yahweh, the Most High, and Jesus Christ. I do not follow any religion. I don't say this to offend anyone or judge anyone, but I say this so that where I stand is in the open. All I ask, is that you never box me into any categories or stereotypes. I will only disappoint you. I promise to never box you into any categories or stereotypes. For such is not my place. My beliefs dictate that I love, and love harder than I have before.
Back in 1998 or 1999, I prayed for a greater understanding of the compassion the Jesus exemplified throughout His time, here on Earth. It began growing in me to a depth I never realized until years later. I remember being frustrated with myself for always forgiving folks and showing mercy; KNOWING they deserved consequences and repercussions. Then I was reminded of my prayer. It's not always fun, loving our enemies as ourselves, but truth be told, it's not our place to hate. It is not our place to withhold goodness from anyone. I feel that I have touched enough on various religions to believe that when all are genuinely practiced (for the betterment of mankind), we all end up on even, peaceful grounds.
Though I'm not completely out of the woods with the effects of Covid19, I can see the clearing and I'm almost there. I pray for everyone who is going through it right now, your continued healing and victory over it.
You know, if we all (everyone, everybody, every single one of us, including you and I) chose to genuinely love our enemies as ourselves, guess what? We'll no longer have enemies!!
Those who have ears to hear, let them hear.......