This thought came to me, as I was driving to my mother's to put her trash on the street for her. It was the Summer of 1994, working in the Summer work program for the children of the employees of Zeneca, that I first heard the term "CHISUPP." It came up in a conversation between a friend in payroll and I, when talking about the astonishing number of employees who had "CHISUPP" automatically drawn out of their paychecks, each payday. Yes, CHISUPP is child support.
I remember a conversation with a friend, years ago, whose "baby mama" sued him for child support. His argument was that he did provide things for his child, material things. He would buy clothes and shoes and that's pretty much the extent of his version of child support. At that time, not having kids of my own, I felt he had a good argument and that his baby's mother should not have gone to such extremes. As I said, I was young and had no kids of my own at that time.
It's amazing how our views of certain things change when we find ourselves in the shoes of those we once judged and criticized, huh?? As a father, I see now that child support is a hell of a lot more than new material things for your children. Yes, clothes, shoes, & stuff are much appreciated but if there is a monetary obligation, it should be paid. There is SO MUCH MORE to supporting children than these THINGS! Child support goes toward groceries, lunch money, after-school care, field trips, sports, recreation, gas money, bills, and everything else that provides the children with what they need.
Even if there is no legal documentation stating what should be paid on a monthly basis, one should still support his/her children beyond some new "J's" and the latest Polo. Men, it matters not what you are feeling toward your ex. It's about the children. GET OVER YOURSELF and do what's right!! I say the same to the Women out there in the same boat. It matters NOT what you hold against your ex! It's about doing right by the children you BOTH brought into this world!! Children don't ask to be brought into this wicked world! So, when we decide to have them, it is OUR responsibility to SUPPORT them in ALL the ways they need.
I agree that there are some people who should NEVER have the responsibility of children. This is where family should kick in and take over. I am not saying that the dead-beat, irresponsible parents should be enabled, but someone needs to teach and guide them through the parenting process. If the individual just does not want the task, then I feel it would be a good idea for a relative who is capable to take custody. Children should be given the opportunity of a good life, a good upbringing, full of love and support. If at all possible, this upbringing should take place somewhere within the family.
To all Parents, all wannabe Parents, all about to be Parents, GET OVER YOURSELVES QUICK!! CHILDREN TAKE PRIORITY OVER YOUR PERSONAL LIFE, YOUR PERSONAL OPINION, YOUR PRIDE, & YOUR EGO!!
HAPPY WEDNESDAY Y'ALL!! I LOVE YOU, EACH AND EVERY ONE!!!
Bryan Hollomon Williams