This book, I must admit, was the beginning of my solo spiritual journey. The one pictured is not the one I originally purchased in 1995. It's one that I bought around 2007 or 8, or so, to replace my original that I loaned out and never got back (Michael Turner, formerly of P.I.N.G.). As I sat in my room this morning, I found myself staring at the book on the shelf and I felt a need to get and begin reading it again. As I opened it, I was surprised to see what I had written in it at the time I bought it. "The return to the beginning......." so applies to my life right now. Up until I read this book, I was just a "whatever the church say" kinda folk, never seeking a more personal spirituality.
My mind went back to THAT period in my life, when this literature was brand spanking new, with that "new book smell" to it. While there, I took a panoramic view of my life back then, to see all the things that were in the works; things that were to last and things that were sure to fall away. I see all the things that were and are still important to the entire being of me. There are things that I should have held onto but let go, and of course there were things that I should NOT have held onto.
It's kind of like looking into a mirror. How many of us REALLY see anything other than ourselves in the mirror?? In a more panoramic view, you see that lone sock on the floor, the unmade bed, the glass on the nightstand that never made it back to the kitchen, etc, etc. These things tell me more about me than how I look on the outside. I'm not the neatest person in the world, BUT way back when, I was a good bit neater. This leads me to question, "why is that?" "What happened or changed?"
When you take the time to review certain starting points in your lives, you tend to find out things about yourself today. You see the things that are truly missing and you see the things that SHOULD be missing, but are not. Humility is one of those things that teaches you to look at yourself and critique the being, person, or thing that you are, BEFORE having the nerve to do so to others. I promise, we all have enough things to work on within our own hearts and minds. So much so, that we will find no time to spend being concerned about other folks and their many faults and flaws.
Think about the various beginnings over the span of your life: the beginning of high school, the beginning of college, the beginning of your first full-time, grown folk job with benefits, the beginning of parenthood, etc. There are certain core things that are in and about us, at these times in our lives. Do we keep them or compromise them? Are you, today, a better person than you were yesterday? Are you worse?
Continuing to look back on my personal beginnings, I see that the RIGHT relationships bring out the best in me, while the wrong ones bring out something totally different. See if your mind can handle this: "You can right paths. You can right choices & decisions. You can even right commitments and certain actions but you can never right wrong." For if wrong were "rightable", then wrong could be eliminated. As long as there are things called free will and choice, wrong will always exist.
So, in your future beginnings, be sure to take that panoramic view before making certain choices.
HAPPY THURSDAY Y'ALL!! YEAH, I LOVE YOU ALL, EACH AND EVERY ONE!!
Bryan Hollomon Williams