My mind has been a bit of a wreck lately. I start a thought. It stops. Another one kicks in. UGH!! Yes, I know! It's been a while since my last post. Trust me! I'M AWARE! This is what's been on my mind. To the best of my ability, these are my recent thoughts:
Open my chest, and you'll find a beautiful waterfall, raining down into a deep pool. Beside it, there is a sleeping dragon. Both are me. As long as the water flows and there are no disturbances in the pool, the dragon sleeps peacefully. The waterfall speaks. It speaks to its visitors and passersby. The waterfall speaks, as to who he is, what he knows, what he loves, etc, etc. Every now and then, comes an unruly one, two, or few. They toss stones into the water, jump in and splash around, and toss trash in and around. The waterfall gives warning, asks them to stop and move on. Again, as long as the waterfall speaks, the dragon sleeps.
The asses of jack, who just can't seem to respect the waterfall, just keep on and on with their poor, recalcitrant behavior. Suddenly the waterfall goes silent. The dragon awakens, only to breath fire upon all who had part in disrupting his sleep. Beware the silent waterfall.
As my mind worked this thought today, I thought about the anger in the dragon. I thought about my anger, at times it is stirred. Two weeks ago, today, I was reminded of a look I saw on my father's face, many years ago. It was after a grown man attacked his sons. I saw rage in his eyes and hurt at the same time. That day, I saw a greater extent of his love for us. Unfortunately, I now know what he felt that day; rage and anger for the man who decides to harm your child; hurt for not being there to protect your son from the bastard and bitch of a man who feels that grabbing a 10 year old by the neck and slapping him as if he were grown, is copacetic. Imagining the look and feeling of terror on my son, turns my gut and tightens every muscle in my being.
Was his behavior that bad? Who knows? Every adult on the scene jumped to the protection of the offender, even the one person there who should have been just as furious as I. Instead, her plea, "take the one, but please don't take the other."
Menacing, is my anger, to my own soul. Thank God that there were 180 miles between us on that day. The "Bryan Tamer" is with me. She keeps me from acting out in such anger and upset. I thank God for her. I thank God for our kids. These kids are God's gift, and we will scorch the earth to protect them, if necessary!
Respect & Accountability, we teach in this camp!
Though my Tamer is with me, the waterfall remains silent.......
Bryan Hollomon Williams