Many of us have heard and believe that it's in a "still small voice" that God speaks to us. He reaches us in all sorts of ways, and in most of these ways, He is not shouting, shaking the house around us, or flooding out our neighborhoods.
Years ago, during my freshman year at Xavier University of Louisiana (Spring of 1995 to be exact), I had a weird dream. The dream took place as I napped between afternoon classes, in St. Mike's dorm. I stood at the edge of a cliff, high above a river of molten lava. I am not a fan of heights and could not understand why I stood so close to the edge, just as curious as George. All of a sudden, I felt a push and down I fell. The fall was forever and I had time to think about a lot. "Lord save me!" was a thought. As the fall continued, I accepted my fate. Still falling, I turned to look back toward the top of the cliff and saw a huge being, just the silhouette. Then, a still small voice whispered, "It's okay." I turn back to the lava and splashed down. There was no pain. I passed through it, into a place of absolute darkness. I had sight to see, but there was nothing to be seen. It was cool, quiet, and peaceful as I touched down on solid ground. I woke up.
Last year, this dream continued. I found myself, still wandering through this dark, cool, peaceful place. Out of nowhere returns the still small voice, asking, "Who is God?" As I looked around, preparing to answer, "I AM!!" thundered through the blackness which surrounded me. At that very instant, a lightning bolt flashed, passing through my heart. The pain I felt was excruciating. I collapsed to my knees before God, the Creator of all things, the GREAT I AM! I knew that my life was over. As I lifted my eyes to see Him, I awoke with aftershocks of the lightning bolt still in my heart. It was not yet my time.
There is a reason God speaks to us through a still small voice, through circumstances, through other, through books, and such. No human heart can withstand a direct, face to face conversation with God. "I AM" is all He said to me, and I thought my life was over. God is too amazing and wonderful for me not to share this story. Many people already think I'm crazy for my beliefs, but it is not my life's mission or duty to appear sane to anyone. LOL! I've tried to write this before but the words would not come together for me. I guess now is the right time.
When you hear the still small voice, speaking to your heart, heed it. The pain I experienced is a pain I NEVER want to feel again, in my life. I certainly would not wish it upon my worst enemy. I'd rather make friends with my enemies than see them go through such agony.
Again, I say, "Whoever has ears, let them hear."
HAPPY HUMP DAY!! I love you all, and may God continue to provide each and every one of you with all that you need! AMEN!
It was the Summer of 1995. I had taken a break from cutting my Grandmother's yard. She actually called me in to sit down and cool off for a bit. We sat there in her living room and had our first and only "grown up" conversation. She asked me the usual questions about school and my diabetes. Then she began to talk to me about the issues between my mother and father, advising me as to how I should approach the matters and deal with them. Basically, she advised me to be patient, forgiving, and all other things that make up Love. From there she began to tell me about me. Of course, as a teenager, NO ONE could ever know you better than you. LOL! Granmama was going in deep on me and I remember sitting there wondering where all this was coming from. There were specific things that she shared before the conversation ended, due to my need to finish the yard.
We never got the chance to finish, or better yet, I never got the opportunity to circle back and question. Her health began to fail in the Fall of that year, and she passed 2 days after Christmas, 1995. To this day, I hear certain words from that conversation and still seek answers to what she meant.
In 1997, I believe whatever was meant for me to learn from the "unfinished conversation" that took place, was passed on to Aunt Stella. Through Aunt Stella, God drew me closer to Himself. Through her, He addressed and clarified my understanding of things concerning Him. As my relationship grew with God, and through is continued use of Aunt Stella, I found light, little by little, being shed on that unfinished conversation with Granmama. Yet, there is still ONE particular thing she said, of which I want to have crystal clear understanding. Now, Aunt Stella has moved on to a new life, and I am still here, seeking answers.
The more I ponder the unfinished conversation, the more I realize that I have the answers I need. I know what I must do. It's been in my heart since the beginning, in those seeds God placed within my heart before planting me in my mother's womb. Granmama and Stella just watered them a bit, along with many others in my life, including my mother and father. It is time that I stand on what I know to be real and true, and live it how God would have me to.
This conversation is far from over.............
God is not some C.E.O of a corporation, which needs marketing and advertising departments, or solicitors calling out to drum up business. "Whoever has ears, let them hear." God is Lord of all life. If we give Him our Trust, our Faith, and our Obedience, then He will direct our duties. Our only mission is to do what He Wills us to do. Sometimes we make the mistake of doing and being a little extra. In this extra, we feel the need to create an image of God that people are attracted to: God the Blessing Machine, God the Money Maker, God the Golden Calf. For the most part, I don't think "I AM" has ever been enough for mankind because we are ALWAYS wanting more. Agur, son of Jakeh says to God, “Two things I ask of you, Lord; do not refuse me before I die: Keep falsehood and lies far from me; give me neither poverty nor riches, but give me only my daily bread. Otherwise, I may have too much and disown you and say, ‘Who is the Lord?’ Or I may become poor and steal, and so dishonor the name of my God." We find it hard to accept the "enough" that God provides. Jesus was more than enough, but we tend to only partially accept Him. We take the blessings, the healings, and the salvation, putting it on rose colored stain glass, saying this is it! This is all we need! This is all there is to know and to teach!! We leave off the sufferings because it does not sell as well as a financial blessing. We leave off the sacrifice because we need to maintain headcounts and rosters.
Paul states to the Corinthians, "I planted the seed, Apollos watered it, but God has been making it grow. So neither the one who plants nor the one who waters is anything, but only God, who makes things grow. The one who plants and the one who waters have one purpose, and they will each be rewarded according to their own labor." I find in this corporate mentality that we tend to hover over the seeds, trying to force growth. We try to shape the seeds into puzzle pieces, perfect only to our "companies" and not necessarily to the universal Body of Christ. We often over-water, making it our personal responsibilities to grow what God simply asked us to plant and walk away from. "Rivers of Living Water" do not cease their flow. When we stop to focus on doing God's job, we become stagnant ponds, creating an even more dangerous environment for the newly sprouted saplings in Christ. We hinder the fullness of God's Will in these lives, serving more as obstacles than His "way-makers." Now, what does such involvement say about our Faith and Trust in the One who has sent us? When we refuse to keep it moving, we exhibit a doubt that is displeasing to God. God's Will for us is ever before us, not behind us, and certainly not standing still. His Will is for us to progress through life, more and more, everyday toward Him. Out prime example of how to do this is found in Jesus Christ, the FULL story! The good, the bad, and the ugly are all involved. It's Truth! It's reality! To all my Pastors, Preachers, and Teachers: DO YOU SWEAR TO TELL THE TRUTH, THE WHOLE TRUTH, AND NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH, SO HELP YOU GOD??
I'm not sure where I am going with this, but this was on my mind this morning. I feel what I feel in my heart, and all I can say is "Whoever has ears, let them hear."
HAPPY TUESDAY! I LOVE YOU ALL!! May God meet every need in the lives of you all! Amen!
Bryan Hollomon Williams