While folding clothes this evening, I thought about the phrase, "you never know what you've got til it's gone." Huh? How could one know what he or she misses when they never knew they had it, in the first place? What they miss is only the selfish desires met by the now departed.
Then, while changing the sheets on my bed, I thought, "I was once a sucker for sirens." Falling for the sweet song of a black hole.
We often fall short when trying to win the entire war, rather than the battle at hand. Spreading yourself too thin only sets you up for defeat. Think about it this way. The times I go days, weeks, or months without really writing; it's not that I have nothing to say, it's that I'm entertaining too many thoughts at once, swearing to myself I can get it ALL down at some point. These things don't stick around, and if I can't focus on one at a time, I get absolutely nothing done.
"You never know what you've got until it's gone." Well, sometimes the reason for the gone is that one knows EXACTLY what they've got. LOL!!
I think about the times when my daughter's head was at my belly button whenever she hugged me. Now, were only a few inches from seeing eye to eye. "Where does the time go?", we ask. I have no clue but it makes me a bit emotional to think about how close she actually is to leaving home to start out on her true path of independence.
My sensitivity is magnified in my kids, I see. So, imagine what we are like when we all are feeling some kinda way. It's sometimes like an earthquake, hurricane, and tornado living in the same house. For the most part, Love quells us.
Love (or the lack thereof).......is what it's all about.
HAPPY FRIDAY Y'ALL!! I LOVE YOU ALL!!
I was once bound.......bound by fear, doubt, and the thoughts of what others felt about me. The world, if allowed, fools us into believing that it's ways are what matter the most. BULLCRAP, I say, at this point in my life!! At this point, I am no longer bound, as I was in this picture, taken back in August of 1997. Many of us do walk around, in this day and time, as mummified versions of something God never meant for us to be.
The mind is what needs to be freed, in order for all else to follow. If freedom is not seen in the mind, it will never be experienced by the body. EnVogue said, "Freed your mind, and the rest will follow!" So true, I say. Furthermore, Bob Marley tells us, "Emancipate yourselves from mental slavery. None but ourselves can free our minds." Again, SO TRUE!! I look at the mentalities of so many and I am baffled at what I see and hear, coming from our youth, ESPECIALLY those of a darker persuasion.
I watched a video last night, posted by SBO on Facebook. In it, was drama surrounding a white woman, who happened to be a veteran, who interrupted a protest at Valdosta State. Black youngans were basically desecrating the American flag. Honestly, I applaud miss lady for stepping up. She was arrested and taken away, which many black folks would be happy about. I can't be. My grandfathers served in the military. My brothers, best friends, uncles, and cousins served in the military. I'll be damned if I ever condone such ignorance and utter stupidity! True, there is a lot of messed up stuff going on in America, but I'd never go as far as to desecrate the symbol of my country. I feel this way.......if you feel the need to piss on the flag, you should pack your stuff and find somewhere else to live!!
There is a mentality that runs rampant in the younger generations, and even a little in the older ones. This mentality says that the world, people, whoever, owes them something. In ALL reality, the world OWES no one anything. In my personal opinion, I don't think that anyone is entitled to anything that they are not willing to work for. No, this does not go for those who are physically or mentally disabled. This is for ALL the able bodied individuals who have no excuse, like the jobless, worthless cats that shack up with women who foot all the bills. I think it comes from mothers who baby their sons and never make them accountable for anything. They grow up with a twisted view of the world, thinking that's the way it's supposed to be; a woman doing everything for you. There is nothing wrong with welfare. Hell, I've relied on the government for certain things, but it's not something I've ever accepted as my way of life. I want better for myself and for my kids! Welfare is not meant to sustain life for anyone. It's meant to assist, but only for a while.
It's a mental state that has to be broken. Again, if you can't see the freedom in your mind, you will never be free. Speaking of seeing it in your mind, I think back to April 2010. After three months of prayer on a certain matter, I had a clear vision on my future. On the horizon, I saw myself, Taylor, and Davyd.......HAPPY and free to be who we were born to be. Had my mind not been released at that time, who knows what more misery I'd have endured. You can never travel any place, where your mind is not willing to go. You can imagine and fantasize, but if your mind can't make reality of it, you will struggle to be happy. You will struggle to be free. You will struggle to find peace. The heart must be allowed to push and even overpower the mind, when the mind is too weak to have your best interest in itself.
To free the mind is to allow the heart to lead. We are often our own greatest adversary.
Speaking of which, I often see myself in my kids; enhanced versions, of course. At such times, why fight with me? Think about it. The me of that age desired certain and specific things. To be heard, to be considered, to understand, but mostly to be heard. So, when I'm facing myself in my son's body or my daughter's being, I have to do what D.J. Jubilee used tell us to do back in the day, "Stop, Paaaause," and listen to what my babies are trying to say or share. Putting yourself aside for your kids, works wonders for that relationship. They respect you better and open up easier. Never knowing what your children truly feel is not a good look on any parent.
Hollomon Who to Hollomons Speaks. Never knew I was there, til I spoke. I think about that bondage that was once mine, as I look more at the picture attached to this post. Notice the top of the head is pretty much free. Imagine the rope, slowly unraveling from the top down. Again, free the mind first and the rest will follow. Walking around with shackledmind syndrome will only lead to walls and holes becoming your way of life. Darkness and blindness rule the minds of those suffering that mental slavery that Bob talked about.
Speaking of "top down", I go to Job. God "lowered his hedge". Now, imagine standing behind your protective hedge, when God decides to lower it, bit by bit. What's the first thing exposed? EXACTLY. The world, the devil, the corrupt, the masters of manipulation screw with your mind first and foremost. For they know that if THEY get to your mind first, they can slap the blinders on and bridle you up. Then, they can ride, direct, and lead you in whatever direction they'd like. The "head" is the first thing to be attacked when the enemy wants to destroy you. Take out the father/husband in a home, and that home is made weak, ONLY if that father/husband is a father/husband that God can admire, a father/husband that's worth something, a FATHER/HUSBAND and not just a man with kids, or a boo thang, leech, or deadbeat.
Our minds house so much power and authority over our bodies. Question is this: Is your mind plugged into good or evil; love or hate; pride or humility; wisdom or folly?
All these thoughts that run rampant in my mind would not be, if I remained bound by my fears, lack of knowledge, and low self-esteem. Yes, low self-esteem still mucks with me to this day, but I'm okay. My mind beats it back for me, reminding me to look at God's favor over my life and that God is my true source and power. When I find myself in moments of weakness, I am comforted by my confidence in God, my Creator. Nothing is able to stand against Him, as I rest and take refuge behind His right foot. God makes a comedy show of our adversity. Adversity becomes Wiley Coyote when we realize God is our Father and Protector.
God is our example of what we should always be to your kids. We are their parents, protectors, teachers, every need. When we do it right, we ARE LOVE!! Think about it, as I remember Sis Adrienne's comment the other day referencing 1 Corinthians 13:4-7. Nothing shall separate us from the love of Christ, just as nothing will separate our kids from the love of us. Jesus showed us the way, plain and simple. Our example is He!! All we need can be found in HIM! GOD IS GOOD!!
No longer bound am I! No longer bound are my heart, mind, and thoughts! Hollomon Who? Hollomon Speaks! Hollomon Speaks what? Hollomon Speaks.......plenty! My Baby says, "You shole love to tawk!"
LOL! No idea, I'm just letting it fly! I've been typing this for more than a few days now, and I ain't done. My Front Porch Girl and I talk a lot about us and how we've grown over the years through our separate trials, relationships, etc. We both agree that 20 years ago, we had no clue as to what we carried for one another, yet we've always known that there was something specific, special and different between us. Twenty years ago, our capacities were much smaller and necessary growth had not yet taken place. Now, we see it clearly, what it is. Sorry, there is no explanation. It's for our eyes and hearts only. The kids see it though, and amazingly, they adore it. There's nothing like it!! Final thought on this "frogger, hopping logs of thought" style post:
We all have heard or used the term "old soul" before. We've even been called it, at times.......at least some of us. The fact of the matter is that all souls are old. Like the Love I mentioned in my FB post the other day, our souls are whole, complete, and fully grown. Also, like that Love, Soul was with God in the very beginning, way before He breathed our specific pieces of His soul into our mothers' wombs. Our beginning may have been with molded earth, but THE beginning is unfathomable. God has not really spent too much time briefing us on what all He was up to before us. There is always a before, but I'm not too much concerned with that. I'm more concerned with the now He has blessed us with. Love and Soul are whole and complete. It is our capacities that must grow and grow, in order for us to gain understanding of them. As I stated just a moment ago, 20 years ago, our capacities were small. We had no true understanding of what our own hearts had going on. We've gone through enough and grown enough to be able to accept that thing that has always been between us. With the knowledge we now share, we can honestly admit we knew nothing before our paths crossed again.
If THIS is what a love should be, then what the hell was it that I was slinging around all willy nilly before, other than prideful and selfish desire. WOW!! It is what it is.
If you are still reading, at this point, THANK YOU for sticking it out with me, as I regurgitated all over weebly. My mind has been all over and I struggled with separating these into different posts. I am grateful for every reader and supporter, even if there is disagreement. Hollomon Spoke.
HAPPY WEDNESDAY TO YOU ALL!! I LOVE YOU ALL, EACH AND EVERY ONE!!
**I've read this thing 3 times and if there are still typos, forgive me!! LOL!**
I think, I thought, I thunk
A Sweetwater 420
My mind went there
I think, I thought, I thunk!
Lord, as my heart swells with emotion and love for my kids, give me the days! They are growing older every day, so fast that I can't even remember clearly their younger years. Lord, give me the days; enough that I may see them as adults. Give me the days, my God, that I may, one day, hold their newborn children in my arms. They are my babies, Lord, and no one knows better than you my true love and concern for them. The same love that You say, oh Lord, can never be separated from us, I have for them. NOTHING shall keep me from my youngans in times of need. Thank You Lord for being the prime example of what a father should be. Thank you, God, for being everything to me and all I ever truly need. Give me the tools, the power, strength, and endurance to be EVERYTHING for my children. Bless us, Lord, as we Spec 6 on!! Thank you for your favor!! I love You Lord! I thank You, Lord, for all that you've done, do, and will ever do for me, my help meet, and our children. You have shown me so much of You, in this past year God, and I am ever grateful. Forgive me for my past impatience and impulsiveness! Taking it slow and easy is way more awesome and fulfilling! THANK YOU, LORD!! AMEN!!
Accountability, people, is what too many of us lack in the world today. Consistency, is another. I had a talk with my eldest daughter the other night and consistency came up. I asked her to think about all the things I have said to her since she could remember, all the answers I've given to repeated questions, and all the lessons I've tried to teach. Then, I asked, "What is one thing that you can say about them all?" Her response, "They are always the same." Parents, believe it or not, our children keep us accountable.......ONLY if you truly care for them. There are too many parents who are selfish and who only want to be involved with their kids when there is some type of benefit wrapped up in it. It sickens my stomach to see it. It angers me to see it.
Just last night, in a dream, I fought a man who was a sorry husband and father. He refused to accept responsibility for himself. It was always someone else's fault as to why he failed in his roles. It got to a point I could not take anymore, so I beat him as badly as I could. Just a dream y'all. Calm down. I felt kinda like Rick from the Walking Dead in the next to the last episode of the most recent season. Man was created in God's image and likeness. So, when I see deadbeat fathers and sorry husbands, it is disgraceful. WE were not made to be such. It is an absolute CHOICE to suck in these positions. The same goes for women. YOU were not created to be terrible mothers or horrible wives!! It's just that simple. So, when you suck, by choice, at being a mother, father, husband, or wife, there WILL be people who are disgusted by you. If you never wanted kids, or you desire not to have them, then don't sleep around! If you choose to be sexually involved, then get fixed! We don't need reproduced you's in the world. Parents are teachers and in order to teach, you would have to have learned something, matured, and earned some credentials! But if you choose to live only for you, never learning anything, never taking responsibility or being accountable for yourself, DON'T MAKE BABIES!! YOU HAVE NOTHING TO TEACH, other than how to be you. Again, we don't need you's, in mass numbers!! GEEZ!! This world needs better!! If anyone is offended by anything I am saying, I have one simple question......."WHY?" Offense is often a result of conviction. My Baby and I talk about it all the time, how we will never understand the minds and doings of certain individuals. Why? Because we are NOT THEM, NOT THOSE TYPES OF PEOPLE, NOT SORRY!
Last night, the term "help meet" came to mind. Actually, it came to heart. It struck me in a way that my soul stirred and directed me to scripture. I thought to myself, "I've never understood what a help meet was until now. I never had one until now. Blessed, I am, right now! One of the things I've always wanted for my kids is a great example of what a good relationship is and looks like. Based on their responses to the leaders of Spec 6, I'd say that they have that now. I'm glad!! When it's right, it's right. The world takes on a new light. For years, I'd been trying to stuff squares into round holes. God looked down on me at some point and said, "Bryan, you stoopid!" He handed me a cylinder, the same one he put in my hand 20 years ago, and said, "Try this one." And the light bulb comes on, as God simply shakes His head and nudges me on. BLESSED, this path has been every since!!
Our #1 baby girl is in Ohio now, with her Winterguard team, and I miss her so much! I ask that you all keep them in your prayers, that they be successful, safe and return home on Sunday, all fine and dandy. Man, she'll be 15 in less than two weeks!! I'm trying y'all but I cain't take it!! Next thing you know, Jolee, Homie, Boss, and Bambino will all be trying to be grown and doing their own things!! UGH!! BOOOOOO!! HISSSSSSSS!!! BOOOOOOOOO!!! LMBO!! But hey, when that time comes, I'm cool with just relaxing on the porch with my Front Porch Girl.......
I think, I thought, I thunk
A 2nd Sweetwater 420
My mind went there
I think, I thought, I thunk!
GOOD NIGHT!! I LOVE YOU ALL!! TAKE CARE AND BE THE BEST YOU, YOU CAN BE!!!
Bryan Hollomon Williams