We all have heard at some point in our live to choose our battles, and choose them wisely. This makes sense, but as leaders, we don't always have that luxury of picking and choosing what battles we want to involve ourselves with. Sometimes the battles corner us, leaving us no choice but to fight them, deal with them, finish them.
If you are the type who hides from necessary confrontation, then seek not a position where you are responsible for leading or managing others. If your heart is not that into humility, then don't ask boss man or boss lady for a promotion.
The same approach goes for parenting, raising children, especially in this day and age where our youngans are SO exposed to SO much that we didn't even think to want to look at until we were grown. We, parents, MUST battle against the things, the people who try to corrupt the minds of our daughters and hearts of our sons. I don't choose these battles, as a father, these battles choose me simply by coming in the direction of my household, my family, my God-given responsibility.
Long story short; choosing our battles is not always an option. As leaders, as fathers, as mothers, we MUST be ready and willing to FULLY fight the battles that choose US!!
God bless you and give you the strength to be who HE needs you to be!!
Each day we leave the house, carrying with us, a bag of choices. What's in yours?? Imagine the liar leaving home with his bag empty of lies. Then, he'd no longer be a liar. How about the gossip? If she leaves home with her bag empty of gossip, then she stands the chance of making real friends and actually being liked. Think about all the shady folks. If they choose to leave the shade out of their bags before leaving the house, then they will see how awesome it is to live a life in the light.
We ALL walk around with bags of choices, each and every day. The choices we presently make, from day to day determine our future lives, our future relationships, our future mental states, and our future heart condition, and ultimately our standing with God.
If the angry man (once me) leaves home everyday with his bag empty of wrath and unforgiveness, then he finds a love in his heart that has been kept prisoner within his own chest for so long. He finds relief in the eyes of his wife, his kids, and his mother. He finds that peace God spoke about through His Word, Jesus Christ.
I remember a visit to my doctor when I was about 19 or 20 years of age. I mentioned to my doc that I was fighting depression off and on, and that I did not know why. She quickly suggested medication to help me. By the time she came back to the room with a prescription, I told her never mind. I thought to myself, "This is all mental, and I can overcome this with my very own thinking." Needless to say, I was successful.
Last summer, many years later, I was having issues with anxiety. This time I accepted my doc's offer of medication. Yes, it worked. It worked at suppressing my anxiety, but not eliminating, which means it remained buried within me. Brewing it was. The medication also suppressed a bit of my positivity and motivation to just enjoy life. My patience shortened as angry aggression became the new me. It took a while for me to realize the deeper effects of this dug. It actually was not until about three weeks ago that I was prompted by a book to take a deep dive into my own heart, my own past, and my own emotions and deal with this brooding anger. The title of the book is "Enemies of the Heart" by Pastor Andy Stanley. The book had been riding in my backpack for over a year before I began to read it.
In dealing with this enemy called anger, I had to humble myself and face my own faults that contributed to stress and strain on my marriage. I had to consider that fact that my wife might be right about all the things she had begun to see in me, that were not there in the early stages of us. Not only did I identify sources of pinned up anger, I saw the origin of this unreasonable aggression. The origin was this medication. The reality is that there were more cons than pros to taking it. My natural desire to simply choose positivity in all situations was stifled. I lacked interest in a lot of family activity,chores, and even yard work, which I used to look forward to as my "me time". Overall, the medication was a life suppressant. It killed me, in a sense, and I slowly drifted farther and farther away from the world, and deeper into self-pity, depression, and anger.
About a week ago, I decided I would stop taking this medicine. Yes, I have experienced some withdrawals, but I am happier and a lot more interested in my home life. I am motivated once again, and I spent most of yesterday doing yard work. My wife sees me as having improved my attitude. I no longer feel as though I am just waiting for someone to set me off. My mind is more focused on the positive than the negative. The ill will of others doesn't seem to bother me as much, and I am able to move on without allowing negativity to affect me. I'm alive again.
In conclusion, I am not making light of the potential good that certain medications can do for people who need them. What I am saying for myself is that I choose not to medicate. In my personal circumstance, I am not willing to damage my relationships with my wife, my kids, or my family. As done many years ago, I will correct my mindset and focus to deal with my issues in a positive way, with the help of God. His Word is so powerful when properly applied to every situation in life. Andy Stanley's book did refer me back to the basics of the Word of God, and it's always so simple. Every answer I have ever truly needed is strategically placed in Scripture...........
I have learned that forgiveness is a life healer. Effectively doing so, releases you from the bondage of anger and disappointment.
If we spent half as much time analyzing OURSELVES the way we observe, analyze, criticize, gossip about, and judge others, we'd find ourselves without much to say. We might even find peace at some point......Silence is only golden when you FULLY recognize God for ALL the HE is......YOUR EVERYTHING!!
I am neither perfect nor an expert. The only thing that I am well versed in is my life, what I've been through and from whence I came. I have deep knowledge of my heartache and pain. I have a Master's in my mistakes, the lessons I've learned from them, and the wisdom gained. My PhD is in my joy and it's source, the Lord God. Long story short, my life is my testimony, my teaching point, an example by which others may learn.......... This is what we are to be for one another, examples, support, knowledge, and wisdom, and love. God made us for one another, to love one another, to support one another, to teach one another, but to do it all His way, and by His example given in Jesus Christ. If we are truly made in His image, then.........
Why take Marriage seriously when you can enjoy its PRIMARY benefit without it?? Many people believe that fornication is okay, treating it like a "test drive." This is absolute stupidity and straight up dumb!! None of us can go back in time to make changes to the past, but I am sure that those of us who have TRULY matured, established meaningful, genuine marriages, and obtain a bit of wisdom, wish that we could do our old days differently.
Fornication teaches us that there are options. Fornication gives us something to compare. Fornication steals the prize of marriage and disburses it amongst the horny multitudes.
Think about it.............
Sex with someone cannot EVER be taken back. Your mind will go to "old days" at times you allow it. If I were to go into a marriage as a virgin, then the only "goodness" I will know is that of my wife. I will have NOTHING or NO ONE to compare her to. She will be the GREATEST goodness I'll ever know. I am not saying that this is a solution to divorce, being that people get divorced for variouis reasons. BUT, if my wife is the only person I "know" then my mind will be less likely to think of the "what ifs" when times get tough or on days we are not necessarily each other's favorite person. Men and Women of weak minds are more likely to let their minds stray to the times when so and so used to "do this" or "do that" when they are not getting along with the boyfriend/girlfriend, husband/wife.
Marriage is raped by fornication, leaving it almost powerless against much of what the devil throws at it. When satan attacks a marriage, he comes with OPTIONS! The devil "makes" us do nothing. He preys on our human minds with worldy promises, proposals, and pleasures. When your wife or husband upsets you, one of the first things he is gonna mention is "so and so would have let you do it" or "so and so would treat you better" or "so and so would break you off whenever, wherever.."
Some may think that I am coming way out of left field with this message, but I really don't write on things that I have not experienced at some point in my life. Many that I have talked to (truly mature individuals) have agreed that fornication does have a negative effect on marriage.
These are just the thoughts of one young man. There is a reason God would rather have us wait til marriage before "deflowerment." Not only is it the right thing to do, but it is also something that eliminates/cuts back on certain types of drama.
I've rambled enough......................
P.S. Please share your thoughts.................
Allowing emotions to rule over your every action in stressful times, business settings, and in conflict is never a good thing. Self-control is key in making it through any situation you find yourself in, good or bad. Sometimes, uncontrolled emotions will intensify the destructive fires that folks are trying their best to quench..........
Bryan Hollomon Williams